So now I'm not a nigga, but...

Everybody knows the history of race relations in America. First came slavery, then jim crow and the KKK, finally the civil rights movement brought our country out of its hatred and hypocrisy and into the modern era. However the transition from racism to equality was not a smooth or particularly quick one. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 effectively made it illegal to discriminate against anyone based on their race, religion, or ethnic background. However implementation of this decision through school desegregation and the creation of fair employment and housing practices was still a long way off. However these are the issues that everyone always focuses on. What about the rest of the story?

Interestingly enough, it wasn't until 1967 in the landmark supreme court case Loving v. Virgina that it was officially unconstitutional to have laws banning interracial marriage. Racist attitudes about mixed couples continued throughout the 70's and 80's. It wasn't until arguably the 1990's that interracial marriages were looked upon favorably by a majority of Americans, as in able to be made legal through a popular vote and not a court ruling. Remember that because it is important. Although public opinion of interracial marriages has continued to improve, there are still those in 2009 who frown upon such unions.

Enter political correctness. About the time that the civil rights movement started, the term African American became popular. It certainly is much better than "darkie", "boy" or "nigga". But equality was still a long way off. After the civil rights act it was illegal to discriminate based upon race. It would soon become socially taboo and politically incorrect to refer to a person of color as a nigga, (something I wish continued to this day among members of the Black community). But if I were alive back then, would it have made much difference? Say I wanted to marry a white woman after the 1964 non-discrimination laws were passed. I would still have to wait three years depending on what state we lived in because there were still laws on the books actually telling me who I was and was not allowed to marry. Sounds ridiculous right? Keep that in mind too, it's also important.

Realistically speaking her family probably wouldn't have been too thrilled at the idea. Mine probably would have either, not like I would have cared one iota what other people think. What might my new father-in-law have said to me on our wedding night? "Well your not a nigga... but I still don't think you're good enough for my daughter." Ouch, I think I'd rather you just cut the act and call me a nigga anyway. Its obvious you want to if you are still making all the same judgments and holding all the same racist worldviews that lead you to look upon me negatively in the first place. So what good is political correctness in the face of obvious disdain and hatred? In this scenario, does being politically correct about telling me who you think I'm good enough for based upon erroneous and false stereotypes and prejudiced and archaic world views actually make your position ok? Am I supposed to leave that confrontation with warm fuzzies because I'm not a nigga, I'm just another lazy black guy who isn't good enough for your white daughter?

Fast forward to 2009 and suddenly everything is different. I am on a wonderful campus surrounded by beautiful women everywhere. I can choose freely who I associate with and who I date, without fear of violence or social disapproval and reprisal. Which is a good thing, seeing as how the campus I'm on is over 50% women and 80% White. Now I'm not the best at math but I think those numbers mean that the vast majority of women that I interact with on campus won't look like I do. I'm fine with that. Most other people are fine with that. Thank God we have come a long way since 1967. So basically I'm cool and don't have a care in the world. What a selfish view to have! Any inequality anywhere is an injustice to all. So this brings up the question, "what about the gays?"

Yesterday had the potential to be a landmark election in American history. No Barack Obama is not up for reelection already, it was something much deeper than just one man or one political office up for grabs. The state of Maine was voting on whether or not to uphold a law that was passed earlier in the year that gave gay couples the right to marry. Things looked promising at first. Early returns from the heavily Democratic cities and towns showed that the law was going to be upheld. Then the results from the Republican leaning areas of the state came in and it was all over. In a 53% to 47% vote, Maine rejected the idea of equality for all of its citizens, following in the footsteps of every other public vote and referendum on gay marriage that this country has ever had.
http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1934432,00.html?iid=tsmodule

Recall what I told you to remember. It wasn't until the late 1990's that interracial marriage was popular enough to win a popular vote in an election. That election never happened because of Loving v Virginia. It looks like gay marriage might not be so lucky. Again consider political correctness and the wonderful lip service it gives to minorities in this country. Recently several prominent figures, politicians, entertainers, and athletes, have gotten in serious trouble for making comments that are insensitive to gay people. Most recently a NFL player was suspended and fined after he insulted his coach by calling him a fag after a particularly upsetting loss. Its wonderful that it is socially unacceptable to use words that are offensive to gays and lesbians, as it should be. But going back to the nigga example, what does it really matter if there is no true equality?

Opponents of gay marriage in Maine used the same tired line that won in California, "we're doing it for the children". They insisted that is the law was upheld that gay marriage would be taught in schools, which is false. And even if it was, what harm could that do. Republicans act like being gay is a disease like the h1n1. They see homosexuality as contagious, like being around a gay person will somehow turn the rest of us gay, also false. These hate and scare tactics are wrong. But they work. They worked for proposition 8 in California and they worked last night in what is arguably the most liberal state in the country. That is what probably hurts the most for gay rights activists. This was a golden opportunity for them to make great strides towards finally achieving equality. America once again showed it is not yet ready to live up to the lofty words in the Declaration of Independence that "all men are created equal" and that "everyone has the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness". Isn't the world lonely enough without restricting relationships between loving and consenting adults even further. I've been out on my own for a while now and I know that the world is a lonely place. The last thing I would tolerate is someone else telling me who and when and how I could get married. Quite frankly its none of their business!

American hypocrisy is astounding. Not only do we as a nation fail to live up to our own promises of freedom and equality, but politicians aren't helping matters either. The same "family values champions" are the same ones who illegally use tax-payer money to galavant down to Argentina to cheat on your wife with this other random woman. Oh and your two little boys are watching how you treat your wife and how humiliated she is in front of the whole country. Thats a great way to protect the sanctity of marriage Mark Sanford, former governor of South Carolina. Or how about Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards? His wife has cancer and is fighting for her life running in and out of hospitals to get chemotherapy while trying to be there for her husband and his political career. How does he repay her? Does he stay loyal and faithful to her like any man with even the slightest hint of integrity would? Nope. He cheats on his dying wife with a younger woman and then tries to make up for it by apologizing to the American public. I'm not the one he should be apologizing to, he should apologize to God and his wife. Those are the people he hurt and let down, not me.

This whole argument that legalizing gay marriage somehow weakens or cheapens the institution is bogus. America's divorce rate is through the ceiling as it is and Gay marriage is not legal. Maybe if people spent more time worrying about their own marriages and not what gay couples were doing then being a divorce lawyer wouldn't be such a lucrative business option. As a future lawyer I have already decided that I will never practice divorce law. I want no part in destroying what people swore before God and man was an eternal bond. I know the pain that comes from broken families. I won't help other people perpetuate the pain that I went through. As for the institution of marriage, its all a matter of personal choice. I'm a straight Black man that can support gay marriage with a clear conscience and still believe in the role of the traditional family. I want to be with one woman and one woman only, for life. Me supporting equality for all people in know way changes my view that marriage is a wonderful gift that should be protected and cherished for as long as both shall live. Until I meet the right woman for me I'll keep searching. But I won't settle for anything less than the one. Just like America shouldn't settle for anything less than total and complete equality.

I am sure that the vote last night in Maine was only the beginning. The fight will continue until full rights are one for gay couples. Until that day comes don't give lip service with all of this political correct bull. Remember, even if you don't call me a nigga but you still look at me and treat me like I'm one, then we really have made no progress at all.