At first I didn't know what the word misogyny meant. I kept seeing it repeated in scholarly articles and various blogs around the web. So I had to consult the dictionary. Here is what I found.
mi⋅sog⋅y⋅ny hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women.
source: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=misogyny
Hatred and distrust of women? One might expect that under repressive regimes like in Saudi Arabia or Iran, but never in a great place like America, right? A recent example paints a telling picture of the double standards for men and women in this great country of ours.
Recently, Carlie Beck, a California high school cheerleading coach, was abruptly fired from her job. She had done nothing wrong. There were no complaints about her personality, job performance or credentials. After all she had served as a cheerleader at that very same school before she graduated and began a career as a model. The kids absolutely adored her.
However problems occurred surrounding a photo shoot that the she did BEFORE EVER BEING OFFERED THE JOB AT THE HIGH SCHOOL. I bolded the last point because it's important. Beck posed nude for a playboy shoot that was subsequently posted to their website as a part of the "Cyber Girls of the Week" feature. A few weeks later when the pictures became public, Beck was called down to the principle's office (like she's some kind of child?) to discuss the photos. The principal told her he didn't have a problem with the photos as long as she didn't advertise them to the cheerleaders, something she in fact NEVER DID.
One would think that would end any drama, but of course not. A few weeks later Beck was suddenly and unceremoniously fired, no explanation given. When she approached the principle, he apologized but said that no explanation would be given to her. Disgruntled parents of a teen cheerleader who didn't make the squad that year printed out the same photos the principle already knew about and took them to the school demanding answers. So what happened? The school took the coward's route and fired Beck instead of showing integrity and standing up for their popular and effective cheerleading coach. The parents cited "moral reasons" for filing their complaint. However it is all too obvious that jealousy was the real motive. After all they didn't file any complaints until after their 14 year old daughter was ineligible to be a cheerleader because of too many school absences.
I wonder if the husband of the couple didn't already know about Beck long before the principal or anyone else found out what she did on her personal time. It is impossible for the porn industry to be booming without someone out there tuning in and giving it their tacit approval, at least until they get their jollies off. After they are satisfied then the industry and apparently everyone in it are scum of the Earth. What kind of attitude is that? Since when were people only useful for one purpose and one purpose only? This is doubly disgusting when the role in question confines the perpetrator to a solely sexual role, it creates a situation where women are exploited and then abused. Basically it says that these women are only good enough for me to fantasize about, but they don't deserve a normal life, working in a profession they love like teaching or trying to make a difference in the lives of young people.
Morally this is unacceptable. Yet people live with it everyday. Who are we to say that Beck is unfit to teach? The principle rightly forbade her from advertising that kind of lifestyle to her pupils and she complied. The kids and in reality most of the parents absolutely adored Beck. The principal himself said that he had no problems with what she did in her private life. Just think of how outraged you would be if your employer tried to demonize you or things that you did while not on company time. If being a porn star is so horrible, then they should be allowed to escape to normal jobs that are acceptable to the moral compasses of the community. But to use women as objects for our own sexual gratification and to then turn around and insult them with such common words as slut and whore is doubly wrong.
Source: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/Story?id=7405443&page=2
These double standards are so intertwined in our culture that it is simply shocking. If a man has multiple sexual partners then he is a pimp, a playa or a stud (all positive implications), yet if a women shows the same promiscuousness then she is a home wrecker and a slut and deserves whatever consequences she gets be it pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, the scorn of society, or maybe something as simple as a broken heart. Whatever happened to everyone being equal? Why can't promiscuity be wrong for everyone and not just the members of the gender without balls? I'm telling you that the practices of abusing and using women have been going on for centuries and it is still happening today, right under our noses. Except now it has turned into a mind game. These double standards are so common that they are used to blame the victim, i.e. the female into an even deeper state of servitude and sexual slavery. We listen to songs with lyrics about pissing on females and "superman dat hoe" without batting an eye. But as soon as a young woman wants to make a change and do something positive in her life then she suddenly is the bad guy.
I ask all of you who are reading this to really pause and consider this issue. If you are a man, (and I mean a real man not some wannabe punk child who feels that his manhood is threatened if he doesn't debase and dominate females), then how do we respond to this? What changes do we need to make so that misogyny and gender prejudice is not spread or endorsed by our actions? For the females out there, what do you put up with in this patriarchic society that you shouldn't?
Everyone including me got all bent out of shape when Don Imus called the Rutgers collegiate basketball team a bunch of nappy-headed hoes. If words are just words and they have no meaning then who cares, right? People realize that words DO HAVE MEANING. Not only are they hurtful to the victim and the perpetrator but they often point to more harmful character flaws and tendencies. The same people who don’t have a problem calling a female outside of her God and parent-given name are often the same ones that don’t have a problem beating her down if she “gets outta line”
So Don Imus used the word hoe and everyone created a fuss about it. But culturally what does it mean? What are the distinctions between a hoe and a non hoe? What is the magical number of men that transforms a person from a woman to something that is scorned by society? Is it one, two, or twenty? How come men never or hardly ever receive the same stigma for the same or even worse acts of sin and fornication? How much time must pass between a racy photo shoot and attempts to gain meaningful employment? Is it 6 months, a year, ten years or even ever? Does posing nude really mean that you lose all dignity and that people are no longer required to treat you with respect? More importantly, why do these questions need to be asked in the first place? Whatever happened to everyone being a human being and being loved by God and each other? Why do we as people spend so much time trying to tear one another down instead of building each other up?
I have spent so much time lately trying to figure out what is wrong with the world. I am convinced that problems like low self-esteem, inequalities in gender pay and salary for the same jobs, the prevalence of archaic, hurtful, and often very wrong gender stereotypes and worst of all domestic violence all have roots in this idea of double standards and cultural misogyny. As men its time to stand up and say enough is enough. If you don’t have a problem with this issue then I’m not talking to you. But the next time you’re ready to assert your male dominance and objectify, abuse, or misuse one of God’s people, think very carefully about what it is that you are doing. Imagine that she is you mother, sister, significant other, or daughter. I guarantee that your response will be different.
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